Click here for a PDF that outlines some of our discussions about a possible fuckbuddy in San Jose.

THE WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE

The following is from my letter to Lisa’s brother Marc.

Seeing how long this letter was getting long (what an understatement!) I left out the “taxi switching” at Tracopa and the “disappearance” of the taxista’s phone number (that whacky diagram of the airport). Fortunately, as you’ll see below, Lisa herself brings it up, in a classic blurt. Also: While I was visiting my old friend Captain Zero Lisa wrote me letter in which she confirms the bit about the “disappeared” taxista’s phone number. (More bad PM.) Dated September 10, 2004:

 

"I was sitting on the terrace with some notebooks and opened one and guess what I found?

Randall Taxi

848 85 38

And next to this, a drawing I made of the airport.. of where I exited and where I got into the cab."

 

Right. The Airport Incident. The worst moment of my life and so forth. The magical disappearing taxistas phone number had reappeared in Lisa’s notebook! (See page ??? for that one.) Although written on September 10, 2004, I didn’t receive the letter until late September, two months after the Airport Incident – if this is the same taxista’s phone number (which I very much doubt) he would have long forgot Lisa and her fuckbuddy, the San Jose one, with the big suitcases at Tracopa. A bright note here is that this looney tunes Lisa-manuever verifies my account of the Airport Incident, since she’s admitting to finding the “lost” phone number (plus her whacky diagram): further evidence that I’m not lying. In fact, the letter in its entirety verifies everything about my account. Still more bad perception management on Lisa’s part.

Again, the above is from my letter to Lisa’s brother. The excerpt from Lisa’s letter proves the veracity of my description of the scene at the Balmoral — the incredible disappearing taxista’s phone number. How could she "find" it if it hadn’t disappeared?

One more while I get this link together.

This significant cut chapter is archived elsewhere as well:

CHAPTER SIX

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones.

Bertrand Russell

 

One time we were in the nearby town of Ciudad Neilly and I asked Lisa if she had a phone card. Lisa replied quickly and adamantly that she did not.

Lisa was lying. That morning I’d looked in her passport wallet and saw a phone card in a glassine pocket; you couldn’t miss it. To confirm that Lisa was lying I looked in her purse when we got home that day. The phone card was not in the passport wallet; it was loose in bottom of the purse. Meaning Lisa had used it that day, or at least handled it.

Yes, no question, she was lying when she said she didn’t have a phone card. She had one and she knew she had one.

What does this mean?

Lisa knows I’ve checked our cell phone bills to see who she’s been calling. So when she calls her San Jose Fuckbuddy, or any fuckbuddy, she would use a phone card since phone card calls don’t show up on the bill.[1]

I wrote down the phone card number and checked how much it had been used. Only 120 colones had been subtracted from the initial 3,000 colones balance. This meant the card had only been used for local calls – it costs at least 180 colones for a one minute call to the United States.

There is no reason whatsoever to use a phone card for a local call – except one, that is — since the phone company only charges the standard rate for cell time on local calls, a few cents a minute. In other words, it would cost more to use a card for a local call, since they still charge for time when you use a card, plus you’d be running off money from the card itself (plus calling the card phone number and punching in all the code digits is a hassle). This goes for the public phone at Pavones, too. Dona Doras, the little soda with the phone, likewise only charges for time when you use the phone; you would not use a card there for a local call (you would use it for an international call, but not enough had been spent on Lisa’s card to make one).

The only reason Lisa would use the card on for a local call would be to keep the number called off our bill. Which means Lisa had been using the card to call her fuckbuddy. That very day most likely since she had handled the card while we were running around Ciudad Neilly and were often separated.

Soon after this phone card business I asked Lisa to please refrain from having fuckfests with her fuckbuddy, or communicating with him. She at first got outraged, yelling at the top of her lungs with forehead veins popping that she changed her life to come live with me at Pavones and so forth. Then later she apologized for her outburst, crying real tears and protesting that I’m the love of her life and it’s us against the world and that how can I accuse her of these horrible things since I have no proof.  No evidence. All I have are my own fears and insecurities.

            After this incident, I would occasionally check to see if Lisa had a phone card in her wallet; she never did. Then one time we were at the Balmoral Hotel in San Jose and I was in the bathroom. I was wondering about something that had to do with Lisa’s birth control pills; how many she had. So I looked in her makeup case where she keeps them. Down in the bottom and wrapped in tissue so they were not visible, were two phone cards. 

            There is nothing wrong with having phone cards, at Pavones or anywhere else. What’s wrong is lying about having phone cards or hiding phone cards so your mate, the love of your life, doesn’t know you have them. Or, getting to the only logical reason for the lying and the hiding, using the phone cards to call your fuckbuddy, meanwhile telling the love of your life that it’s us against the world.

            That’s wrong, isn’t it?

 

From the letter to her brother, here Lisa verifies the veracity of the above chapter. My original letter is in normal font, Lisa’s reply is in bold, my analysis of her reply is in red.

Lisa has to be occasionally calling her boyfriend. I don’t have a boyfriend and there’s no one to call.  A month ago I asked her if she had a phone card. She said no, she didn’t have one. She in fact did have one. I’d seen it in her passport wallet – it has glassine compartments so you can’t miss it. She knew she had it – she was lying. I wrote down the card number.

 

 

 

I gave you a bunch of cards before you went on your trip, cards I paid for out of my own pocket, and then I took them back when you returned.

 

Although this is not true, even if it were true it’s totally and transparently irrelevant. I was not taking issue with Lisa having a phone card, which of course means nothing. What’s important is that she was lying about having it. Notice she doesn’t deny that she was lying about this. Does she? Ask yourself why she would lie about it?

 

Lisa virtually always has access to the cell phone (so pay phone calls are not necessary) and we never had been using a card to make calls on the cell. It’s not worth the hassle of all the card numbers for a 10 cent local call, and we’d stopped using using a card for states calls as well.

 

Why was she lying about having a card?

 

I still have the cards.  I never used them.  You must have written down how much dollars and cents are left on the card, right?  You could compare your records with serial numbers and card balances and you’d see that I haven’t even used them.

 

Right. She didn’t use them after that day because she knew I could check to see if they were used. Again, notice how she hasn’t denied lying about having the cards on her. Why would she lie about that? Instinct. She was using the cards to call her fuckbuddy. Why else lie about having them?

 

Lisa knows I’ve checked phone records to see who she’d been calling. The only reason she would use a phone card is to keep the number called off our bill. (Interestingly, it was Lisa herself who told me that card calls are anonymous, no record anywhere of the number called – why did she know this if it wasn’t important to her in some way?)

 

In early September we got back from a trip to town and I needed the house key. I look in the bag she brought – my bag, a leather one she has never used before. I notice there’s a phone card in the bag, loose, down at the bottom next to the key. Her passport wallet is in there too. The loose card is the same one that she’d been carrying in her passport wallet.

 

I asked her why she brought a card on the trip, since she had the cell phone and would have no use for a card. She didn’t know, didn’t remember bringing it. Maybe it was already in the bag, she said, which was impossible — it was my bag and it was her card, not mine. When I told her it was the same card I previously noticed in the passport wallet and therefore she must’ve used the card (or at least handled it) on the trip, therefore how could she not remember having it, here’s what she said: It must’ve slipped out of the passport wallet.

 

Did you ever think it is a useful thing to have a phone card?  Since the payphones in this country don’t take coins?  Since our cars suck?  Since they break down quite a bit?  Since cell phones sometimes don’t work? Again, I never took issue with Lisa having phone cards. It was the lying about having them. So this is still more misdirection.

 

The passport wallet is velcro-ed shut and is very tight inside – it is not possible that the card slipped out. Right, your credit card never slipped out.  Think. Okay, I’ll think: no, my cc never slipped out. The glassine pockets are very tight. What I do remember about my passport wallet was when she hid it then found it the next day in “plain sight” – but this is another story (you know about from the book). She was lying. She had lied about having a card to begin with and now was lying about knowing she had one on this trip.

 

There is only one reason that makes sense for having the card and lying about it – she’d been calling her boyfriend on the card. Another theory, Marc? (This could be #6, but I’ll be conservative.)

 

Still again, because it says it all: She does not deny lying about having the cards on her.